One Man's Junk? One Man: Punk!

One Man's Junk? One Man: Punk!, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

So I was at an Irish pub on Saturday night, and my friend and I were
talking to a girl who was carrying around a(n) ukulele in a black
case. She said she had been taking lessons for about 3 months. This
reminded me that I recently acquired one as well. A good friend
brought one back from Hawaii for me. And I have been neglecting it. So
I have begun practicing a bit the last couple days. It is coming
back.

I say coming back because I had a(n) ukulele once before, when I was
still in college. I found it broken and abandoned in a dormitory trash
can and glued it back together myself with tender loving care.
Amazingly it stayed in tune and looked as good as new, so I learned to
play it over the next few weeks.

One night I was playing it with some friends who had guitars and a
friend came up and said, "Hey, it's my ukulele!"

To which I replied, "Uh, I found it broken in a garbage can."

He grimaced and said, "Oh, yeah, but I see it 's not broken now!"

"Right. I fixed it."

"Wow, how did you do that?"

"With super glue. It's super."

"I see. Yeah, my mom gave me that ukulele. I was really sad when I
broke it. Thank you for fixing it!"

"Uh...."

"I am so glad I don't have to tell her that I broke it and had to
throw it away."

"Uh...."

"So can I have it back?"

"Uh... yeah. Here."

And that was the end of the ukulele. I didn't see the point in
putting up a fight. And besides, I figured he could 'owe me one', so
to speak. Well, he did bless me before we graduated. He found my brand
new Birkenstocks in a house he shared with some of our mutual friends.
Since he did not immediately know to whom they belonged, he assumed it
would be O.K. for him to wear them. And wear them he did. Often. His
big, sweaty, Alaskan feet made an indelible impression on the soles
of the sandals that become more comfortable as you wear them, since
they shape to fit your foot specifically. The odor was indelible, too.
When I accidentally discovered he had obscounded with them about 6
months later, he graciously offered to give them back. How kind. I
declined.

Now he has a Ph.D. I wonder if he still has the ukulele and the
sandals? I have only bitter memories of two new treasures soon lost.
Come to think of it I think he got his Ph.D. in economics. Makes
sense. He definitely got the better end of that deal.