Expo Exposed

Today I am enjoying a rare Saturday off. So what will I do, besides this? Laundry, dishes, and deskwork. But at least I can do it at a leisurely pace. It is conceivable that at some point I will get crazy and go to the supermarket....

Recently I went to the world expo in Aichi, Japan, near the city of Nagoya. The venue as a whole was beautiful, especially at night. But some of the main attractions were so ridiculous that I found it hard to believe. They weren't at all entertaining per se, but their very ridiculousness was. Two examples. First I stood in line for 35 minutes to experience "Wonder Circus", which turned out to be a children's ride with cheap props and scenes to look at on the way. Unless you had a small child with you who might actually be able to enjoy it, it was absolutely horrible. And most people did not have children along. Two redeeming features: 1) Your picture was taken and then later displayed as your cart passed in front of a viewing screen. That appealed to the narcissist in me. 2) The carts (think very slow indoor roller coaster) could each turn on the track so that sometimes your cart was facing backwards or to the right or left. But beyond that, it was amazing that it could be so boring. On weekends people wait for well over an hour to experience this "wonder", which lasts maybe five minutes.

The second example is a 3D theater feature sponsored by JR Railways. They gave me glasses as I walked in and the whole bit. But then we were forced to stand, hundreds of people very close together, viewing a story about the history of rail travel, without our glasses. This took ten to fifteen minutes. Not so much to ask, except that people had already been waiting in line for some time, and were not expecting to stand that much longer again. My feet were sore and I was getting annoyed. It was hard to keep from bumping into the other people or stepping on their feet. And I am a little taller than most people in Japan, so I was concerned that I was blocking the views of those behind me. Having said that, though, the film was at least interesting and educational. It was in Japanese with English subtitles so no language problem. Next, we were finally escorted into an actual theater with actual seats. It felt so good to sit down. We put on our 3D glasses, which we had been carrying around for 20 minutes, and the show began. The 3D effect was hardly used. The entire show, 12 minutes long, consisted of shots of the experimental mag-lev train moving down the track from various angles. Then occasionally we would see Japanese men in a control room contgratulating themselves. That is all. Over and over, different angles and different expressions of congratulation for twelve minutes. I entered the theater interested, but after only one minute I was looking at my watch to see how much longer I would have to endure this. This attraction sometimes has people waiting in line for up to two hours.

Did I mention there is a $50 admission fee? Also getting to the place is a hassle. Once you arrive at Nagoya station, you ride a relatively slow, 40-minute shuttle train to a station where you then board another train to take you to your destination. You get a nice opportunity to see some Aichi countryside.

But it wasn't all bad. Many different countries had buildings where they exhibited their customs, fashions, history, etc. Mexico's was pretty cool. These usually had no lines and were really interesting. Cuba's consisted of a bar and some movie screens. But some countries had very elaborate setups, with people weaving, examples of collapsible homes, fabrics, interactive video, and so on. I found the U.S. section a bit disappointing. It was a tribute to Ben Franklin. First we were ushered into a big room with nothing in it, really, except a big statue of Big Ben in the center, and a video screen at the corner. On it we watched a five-minute film about his life. Next we were ushered into a theater where an actor, who was apparently told that Ben Franklin was a big dork, played Franklin as a time traveller who had come to talk to us in 2005 about the wonders of scientific advancement over the last couple centuries. It was pretty dang cheesy. It was cool when he connected to power cords and our seats vibrated--felt good after standing in line and walking so much that day. Another sort of rude but memorable feature was the fact that at one point in the film, when it rained on the screen, it rained in the room! My translator headset got all wet, along with my clothes. I think most people liked it, probably because so many other parts of the day had been so, well, dry.

But I am glad I went. There were many amazing examples of how that utter lack of creativity can still be rewarded with the right marketing. Actually one of my favorite parts of the entire park was essentially a big walk-in freezer with some stuffed animals, erected to show what the temperature is like where they live. It was very refreshing after walking in sun, which actually wasn't even that hot on that particular day. When I walked out of the place, the sweat on my shirt had begun to freeze. It was almost titillating. Other honorable mentions--the Turkish food, the Mexican food, and the ropeway.

Overall, a nice place to spend a day with a date or your kids. If I had it to do over again, I would start by touring all the international pavilions, have a leisurely lunch and watch a concert on the big stage, and then use my remaining time to try a couple of the main attractions besides the JR or Wonder Circus buildings. Is it possible that I chose the two absolute worst of the lot? Yes, very possible.

Actually the day became much more interesting when, because of LONG lines of people trying to get home, I missed my last train and ended up spending the night at a karaoke bar meeting some locals and learning off-color Japanese. It was my first time in Nagoya, but the people were hospitable and fun. Perhaps I will visit again.