A Fool Such As I

So I finally made it to the kung fu massage place I have already mentioned. It was after 1 in the morning when my friend and I got there, which is actually pretty typical. I go every time I visit Taiwan, so they remember me. The master is in his 50's or 60's, a bit rotund, and not the most hygienic person you could hope to meet. The emphasis at this establishment is on the healing powers of properly administered massage, not on comfort or atmosphere. To put it more bluntly, it is dirty and unrefined. But that, too, is part of its charm... for me at least.

On this night the master was in top form. As we walked in he was unashamedly picking his nose. He was really working on a big nasal blockage removal project, and kept at it while he talked with us and gave orders to his staff. He said hello to me and then started speaking very gruffly in Taiwanese, as usual. I can understand a fair amount of Chinese, but I am nearly useless in Taiwanese. I know a few words, but otherwise I just have to pay attention to body language and tone of voice. So all I could make out was that he said something about me being 'really big' and about teaching someone something. He was looking right at me and by his tone it felt like he was mocking me. Was he calling me fat? Whatever. I was pretty sure he was callilng me fat. But I just wanted a massage, not a Taiwanese lesson. So I tried to ignore him.

About 10 minutes into my massage, as I was beginning to feel more relaxed, the nose picking master crouched down next to me, so we were face to face, and said with harsh tones and gestures, "Taiwan blah blah blah delicious blah blah blah? Ha ha ha!" So now what? Was he saying I eat too much delicious food when in Taiwan? Was he actually mocking me to my face in front of everyone? I felt like a starfleet member on a Klingon Warbird being openly challenged. To let it go would mean dishonor--it must be answered.... But then, what if I were wrong? Anyway, I didn't want to deal with it, or him. But I was surprised at this new low. Like the great doctor who never learned bedside manner. Totally unprofessional, I thought, regardless of what he actually said.

Put it this way: If the way he said what he said were translated into English, or Japanese, it would be something like, "You are worthless scum and so is your family and you don't deserve to breathe the same air as me or the fleas on that dog which I later plan to eat!"

Then he asked my Taiwanese friend to get an answer from me. So friend translated: "He want to know if everytime you come here I take you to very delicious place, you know my mean?" Already annoyed and sick of the the master, I told him I just want to sleep. I was very angry at this point, and I can't explain it well enough other than to refer you to the above paragraph. The way he spoke was so animated and felt to me to be so disrespectful that I was doing all I could not to just get up and leave. I wanted my massage, after all.

At the end of our time, my Taiwanese friend asked if i would like to soak my feet before leaving and I said no, I really have to go right now. I couldn't take another minute in that place with the self-righteous racist nose picking jerk. I physically bit my tongue as I paid my bill and walked out of the door slowly and carefullly. I didn't reckon it would be worth it to say anything. After all, these people study kung fu! Once to the car I let my frustrations fly. And my Taiwanese friend agreed that in fact the master had spoken very harshly and carelessly and he understood my anger.

When we got home, though, I found out that the way he spoke and the words he spoke were quite different. That is to say content did not at all match delivery. It turns out that actually this master always asks about me when my friend goes for a massage alone, and he is genuinely interested in a foreigner's thoughts about Taiwan and his massage shop. So he was actually glad to see me. What he said first was that I am a big guy, but I don't need a really hard massage, so the person administering said massage need not worry. Later, he was just asking if my friend had shown me some good places to eat, because it would be a shame to miss out on Taiwan's great food.

I completely and utterly misunderstood. After over three and a half years in Asia I am still learning that I really have a lot to learn. I felt so ashamed when I realized how far off I was. My Taiwanese friend made me feel a little better when he said that if someone were to speak to him in that way in a language he did not understand, he would assume they wanted to fight. Still, I should know better. I lived in Taiwan for nearly a year, after all. The language has 8 tones and tends to sound harsh anyway. When spoken by some people even words of sincere kindness can sound threatening and disrespectful to the untrained ear.

And besides, what if he had been mocking me? That would have been his problem, not mine. "But I say to those who hear: love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. ... And just as you want people to treat you, treat them in the same way." (Luke 27-28, 31 NASB)

Tough not to be drawn in by such things; even harder to rise above.

Besides, I could stand to shed a few pounds. :)