The Man in the Box

No, this is not a post about my apartment, though that too would be fitting, given the title. This is a post about a little Japanese TV I happened to see at nearly 2 a.m. tonight.


Picture this:

Two men. One cardboard box. One roll of tape. One timer.

Rock, Paper, Scissors.

Loser gets in box. Winner gets on top. Tape goes on box. Timer is started. Box tips to and fro, eventually toppling over. But time keeps ticking and Box Man cannot free himself. Tape Man finally removes some of the tape, then walks away laughing hysterically. Well over one minute has passed. Box which had been shaking violently is now barely moving. Tape Man stops laughing long enough to realize that perhaps Box Man cannot breathe. Panics. Moves to remove the remaining tape. Suddenly the box explodes open and Box Man emerges, disheveled and breathless. "I couldn't get any air! [gasp gasp] I thought I was going to die in there!" Tape Man remembers timer, dives to the ground to grab it as quickly as possible, and stops it. But then doesn't bother to read the time.

Crowd applauds with uproarious laughter.

Both men look at a large countdown timer visible on the stage and realize that they have only 7 minutes until the next commercial break. All is forgotten. Onto next bit.

What can we all learn from this? That it is worthwhile to practice Rock, Paper, Scissors, for one thing. It may very well pay off someday. Then again, some of us on the mere basis of size alone would never qualify to become Box Men. But better safe than sorry....

I can't find 'loogie' in the dictionary. How is it spelled? What is its etymological history?

So last night, wonder of wonders, I was doing a bit of channel surfing. I stumbled upon an old B/W Japanese movie about World War II and Pearl Harbor. Made me wish I could understand more and read faster.... I felt too tired and sick to try to follow it, so I surfed on. Coincidentally my next discovery was an episode of "King of the Hill" where they were visiting Japan. Why? Because Hank Hill's WWII veteran father, Cotton, had been invited to participate in a symbolic ceremony in which old enemies would finally make peace. He went, but all along with the intention of spitting "lung butter" in the face of the emperor. Meanwhile, Hank discovered he had a half-Japanese half-brother. It was amusing, but mostly I was intrigued by the fact that I kept finding Pearl Harbor stuff on TV. It was rather late... perhaps they wanted to get it all broadcast in one swell foop.

I was considering a further discussion on the topic of phlegm, but perhaps that is better saved for another time. Or no time.

Since, however, in only two entries I have already exposed myself as being somewhat juvenile in my humor, I might as well go all out and give the following link:

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/groupx/

A CD-R of this group was found by two of my best friends while they were playing frisbee golf. Upon listening to it, they were nothing less than flabbergasted. How could such a thing exist? And without our having known about it? And what "idioth" left it on the ground for us to find? And what good fortune to have found such a treasure! While listening on, and being caught in this powerful swirl of emotions, the two almost simultaneously had a realization: we have to give this to Hack. And, when presented with it, I was in fact nearly beside myself with glee. I confess I am a little embarrassed to admit this. Anyway, click if you dare, but don't blame me if you are offended. You have been warned. OK, maybe not enough. It is childish and vulgar and kind of stupid and maybe racist and definitely chauvinist. But it is unique, creative, and hey, it's catchy. Just don't let it get stuck in your head and start singing it aloud at work. You may get slapped. Or fired. Again, don't blame me. P.S. The views expressed by "Group X" and the material portrayed on the related link in no way reflect the views of this writer. Except that I sometimes like things that are strange simply because they are strange. Is that wrong?