Just What the Doctor Ordered(?)

Just What the Doctor Ordered(?), originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

Anybody Hungry?

Anybody Hungry?, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

Baseball Hardcore

Baseball Hardcore, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

This sign, an advertisement for a DVD commemorating the 70th anniversary of the Hanshin Tigers, hangs proudly and conspicuously on the train. It literally reads: "We cried. We shouted. We laughed. We got drunk.

Hole in the Ground

Hole in the Ground, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

For those of you who don't know, this is what an Eastern toilet looks like. Built for squatting, not sitting. It is, I suppose slightly more sanitary than the Western variety, but that is about the only good thing I have to say about it. Pretty tough to do any reading when you are busy just trying to make sure you are properly positioned so that you don't miss the hole, or worse, fall in. Not that I have ever been much of a toilet reader. Yes, clearly you needed to know that about me.

Another startling toilet discovery in Asia is this: You had better bring your own toilet paper. Chances are you won't find any when you get to your destination, if it is a public toilet. In some places there are vending machines that will sell you a small packet of tissues. If you happen to be carrying the correct change and are not in a hurry to relieve yourself, this is your best option. You can imagine the profit margin per packet is sizeable, given the supply and demand ratio. Good-hearted fellow toilet-users will leave behind their unused tissues for the next person. If you are lucky, you might find a spare square. Best not to gamble and arm yourself with your own.

Once you have done your business and are ready to do like mom always told you and wash your hands, you are very likely to encounter another problem: no soap. Could there be a connection between this and the custom of bowing rather than shaking hands? Could be. So taking your own soap would be a good idea, but then once you have carefully washed your hands, you probably won't find a hand dryer or paper towel. So you can shake and wipe your hands on your pants, or carry your own towel. An alternative is to carry hand cleanser that evaporates and doesn't require water. I lived in Taiwan during the SARS scare, and though I refused to wear a surgical mask on my face, I did take the advice of the health authorities to wash my hands often. I always had my trusty hand cleanser with me, and would casually use it whenever I thought of it, not wanting to get some mysterious disease that was killing people and causing widespread panic. Yeah, that was fun.

Anyway here is a recap of things you will need in case you ever use an eastern public toilet:

1) Good balance
2) Toilet Paper
3) Soap
4) A Towel
5) A Good Attitude
6) A Sense of Adventure

Four through six are optional, but very helpful and highly recommended. Happy trails!

$30 Well Spent

I don't think I have ever had so many complete strangers ask to have their photo taken with me. This is an example, and the stranger was kind enough to e-mail it to me.

And thus we have the fifth installment in the afro series. Just as the Star Spangled Banner may have lost me the costume contest, my obsession with afro pictures may lose me my readership. There are more to come, I reckon, if Ayumi ever e-mails them to me! Oi! And speaking of losing things, I also lost my plastic crown. I think someone just plucked it off my head, perhaps drunkenly hoping it was the real thing. I hope s/he tried to smoke it. Instant karma, baby.

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween！, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

I was a finalist in the costume contest, but I think singing the Star Spangled Banner may have ensured my ultimate defeat. Lots of rowdy Europeans in the audience voiced their vehement disapproval. They won't soon forget me, however.

Wonder Afro Part 3

Wonder Afro Part 3, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.