Extreme Thumb Wrestling OR Yubizumo Yokozuna

I recently became acquainted with a young lady who is without question the best thumbwrestler I have ever faced. I had considered myself a relatively formidable opponent, but I now have cause for doubt. The person in question claims to have only been beaten once, by a soccer player in Hong Kong with exceptionally well-developed digits. I am not usually THAT competitive, but after numerous defeats I began wanting just one victory, to somehow redeem myself from the shame. One fateful night a while ago I asked for a rematch. On a bridge over a busy city street the battle ensued. And I held my own for a good 60 seconds or so. But then, with a surprise maneuver my thumb was rendered temporarily immobile, and the ten count began. In a moment of panic I lost control, like a child being tickled to the brink of temporary insanity. Before I knew what had happened, I had elbowed my opponent in the face. The shock loosened her vice-like grip on my thumb, and, miraculously, at that very moment I was able to seize the opportunity my spasm had afforded me and get the coveted pin. Though the path was not entirely nobly trodden, there were no intentional fouls committed and thus my conscience is clear. When I told a friend of my somewhat tainted victory, he replied coldly, "The end justifies the means." As it happens, he too had suffered defeat too many times to count. I think he found some vicarious satisfaction in my triumph. Perhaps all the more so because it was dirty.