Ineffable

Ineffable, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

Refer to the title of this post for an explanation of my recent prolonged absence from blogdom.

Or just imagine the contents of three rooms moved suddenly into one room. Imagine access to the computer in that room as more trouble than it is worth. Imagine you are floating on a wave on the ocean, surrounded by starfish and sea horses. What's up with sea horses, anyway?

Over the past two weeks I am sure interesting things happened. I know at least one person said something either hilarious or exceptionally crass--probably both-- that I actually asked permission to write here. Permission granted; words lost. I had at least one dream that was intriguing enough (in my estimation, at least) and sufficiently coherent to recount. Yeah, forgot that, too. Like sands through the hourglass, so are the wasted opportunities that accumulate on my mountain of irresponsibility. Blogging failures are but a mere microcosm.

But then it's ok if you talk about it, right? That's like the first step I heard....

Ok, so before my already senile mind--ooh wait. That is bad Neuro-Linguistic Programming form. Uh, let me start over.

Ahem. (Don't read that carelessly or you might think I typed "Amen". I didn't.)

On second thought, skip the intro. Or segue. Or transition. Here's a story:

Tonight I was at the 99 yen shop. I often go there. 99 yen is a little less than a US dollar at the moment. Most of the time, in fact. I decided to stop there because I didn't want to wait 20 seconds for the train to go by. It was in my way. I was listening to loud music on my big camouflage headphones and riding my bicycle too fast in the dark with no helmet and no lights and no rear reflector, like the irresponsible (there's that word again) teenager I sometimes wish I were and occasionally reckon I forgot to be. This, coupled with the fact that I was hungry, fostered a higher than usual level of impatience on my part. La la la anyway I went to the cheap store to get some cheap and unhealthy dinner and some bread and eggs and milk. And avocados.

Not necessarily in that order. Closer to the reverse. Anyway....

Music still loud, groping avocadoes--you want 'em not too firm, not too soft--when I sense someone looking at me. I turn to see a man, slightly eccentric in appearance but nothing too out of the ordinary, about 55, and he laughs and shakes his head as if to say, "Never mind."

"I wonder if he said something and I didn't hear him because of my earmuffs that also happen to be helping me lose my hearing both at this moment and probably permanently to some degree as well?" I think to myself. "Cool." I resume groping.

"Blah blah blah blah! Ha ha ha ha ha! Blah blah."

I turn again and this time it is clear that the man is talking to, or at, me. So I smile and remove the speakers from my head.

"Abokado!! He he he. Beri chipu! He he he. 100 yen! He he."

Then I said, in Japanese, "Uh, yeah. Heh." He seemed satisfied and went merrily walking along the aisle, recounting the exciting experience to some twenty-somethings looking at spaghetti sauce. "I said 'Avocado' to that foreigner! He he." I can only assume he had just left the karaoke bar upstairs and the whiskey was helping him find amusement in the most mundane and inane. Or maybe he was insane. In any case I found my avocadoes and other items and made a fast escape.

That type of thing doesn't happen often, but when it does it reminds me that I am even weirder here than I was where I came from. Weirdness begets weirdness it seems. Those better be good avocadoes.

Last night I ordered takoyaki (octopus fried bread balls) from an outdoor stand and specifically asked the man with the pan not to sprinkle seaweed flakes on top. He did. I told him that's ok I can still eat it, no problem. He apologized and gave me two oranges for my trouble. It was nice of him. They were expensive oranges. (It was an octopus ball and orange stand. Wicked combination.) They looked delicious. They weren't. Very dry. Did he know that when he gave them to me? I think not, but... fruits with peels... very tricky. You never know what you're gonna get. The octopus balls were good, though. Except for the seaweed, of course.

My knee really hurts and I don't know why. How irritating. It is like it is bruised but as far as I know I never did anything to bruise it. Maybe I had another kung-fu dream and just don't remember.

On Sunday I met with a friend and we were walking around Kobe looking for a used bookstore. I had a map but it wasn't great. WIth some effort, and help from strangers, we finally managed to find it. It took us about an hour.

The store was closed.

But that is not the punchline. The punchline is that when I again referred to the book with the map that I had with me all along and had looked at numerous times, I found written very clearly, "Closed on weekends."

Another example of absentmindedness affording adventure. And annoyance.

"Hack Rambler you are rambling! More frequency, less verbosity!" I (don't) hear an inaudible voice saying to me....

Oh yeah and if you made it this far that is a picture of me at a Buddhist temple wearing a Buddhist priest's robes and holding his prayer beads. They are carvings of human skulls.