Hack Rambler & His Merry Adventures

Well, at least it's SOMETHING....

2010-09-17T09:24:00.002+09:00

Lizard Tales

2010-06-26T03:42:00.003+09:00

In Taiwan on vacation....

A lizard who apparently lives in the car traveled the length of the island, and back, with us. It was a three-day trip. Said lizard, "Liz" for short, crawled up and rode on the hood for the last few kilometers, as if her lizard senses had somehow indicated that she was nearing her usual environment. That was weird. She even jumped around a bit, like she was glad to be back. Forgive me if I overindulge in anthropomorphizing. I think maybe swimming with the fish may have something to do with it. I am a fan of snorkeling now. But I digress. Welcome home, Liz.

Oh, and Liz? I wonder if it was a relative of yours who was trying to share my bed the other night. If so, tell him I'm sorry if it was my fault his tail fell off. I think we caught each other a bit off guard.

Going Native

2010-03-31T21:56:00.005+09:00

March is ending, so in order to be able to say I have posted something every month, here is a post.

Tonight I went to the grocery store and used my newly acquired member's card to get "Pure Water" in a 3.8 liter bottle, along with probably way too much half-price food. (Shopping for half-price items at supermarket closing time is one of my hobbies/money-saving techniques. I know, it's an exciting life I lead.) Among the plethora of delectable goodies was this sushi, which normally doesn't appeal to me that much. I don't dislike it; I just don't get excited about it. Especially not as a main course.

But tonight it cried out, "Eat me! Eat me!" And so I obliged. Not only was it much better than I expected, but it filled my stomach as well. In over 7 years in Japan, I do believe this is a first. Wacky.

Reverse Culture Talk

2010-02-02T14:26:00.005+09:00

This article is from 2007 but I read it again today and I think I identified with more list items this time around. Feel free to hazard a guess or add to the list.... ; )

Click on the title of this post or copy and paste to go here:

http://i.gadling.com/2007/09/18/big-in-japan-33-reasons-why-youve-been-in-japan-too-long/

(And don't forget to go to part 2 after finishing!)

Human Crayons

2010-01-28T00:15:00.002+09:00

I was teaching a group of older ladies the other day and I asked, "What is the most significant news event of your lifetime?", in the context of new stories like the J.F.K. assassination, 9/11, etc. One of the less talkative students misunderstood slightly, and answered, "The death of my husband." I told her I thought that was a great answer and thanked her for it. Then I explained that I was referring to world news stories, and that I wanted to know how one particular event had impacted her individually. She still didn't get my meaning so she continued on the same track, saying, "Life has no color anymore."

Wow. Such a poignant statement from one with such a limited vocabulary, let alone grasp of the language itself.

iPhone Blogging on the Train about Nothing

2010-01-20T13:24:00.002+09:00

Ian thinks I should blog and he's probably right. 2009: Yeah I pretty much hate you. Good riddance. Happy new year everyone! Going to Costco now to buy cheese.

Happy New Year, Part 1

2009-01-09T23:58:00.019+09:00

Hello all. I just got back from my winter vacation travels and thought I would pay a visit to my long-neglected blog. I traveled to Singapore, Malaysia, Taiwan, Hong Kong, and Macau. It was a long, good, interesting trip, but not without some hardships. The most notable being my New Years Eve and New Years Day. Intense pain prompted a trip to a dentist in Taiwan, and then another, and then another (all in the same day).

In the end I was told that I needed immediate oral surgery at a hospital. I had to have two wisdom teeth removed, and since the bottom one had three curved roots, they had to cut my gums. Needless to say it wasn't pleasant, and it took about an hour and a half. After the anesthesia wore off I felt what I think might be the worst pain I have ever experienced in my life. And this all happened right in the middle of my vacation. Doh! So I took a lot of medicine and lost a bit of weight since I couldn't stand to eat much, but I did my best to keep moving. Now that I am back home and have slept a lot and spent some quality sofa-time, I am doing much better. Yay.

Aside from all that, though, it really was a great trip. I don't want to try to put it all in one entry, but I will talk about Malaysia a wee bit and leave the rest for later.

My favorite memory from Malaysia was from the Batu Caves. This is a large cavern with a large statue and a large community of monkeys, one of which swiped my can of juice and drank it right in front of us as if to say "What are you going to do about it?" He then waited for us to leave so he could throw the empty can at our heads. Classic. I almost bought another juice to try to repeat it and get it on video. But I resisted the temptation, partly because I was able to get a picture of the symian in question in the act.

And of course the Petronas Towers in Kuala Lumpur were really beautiful.

I also really enjoyed the friendliness of the people in the laid-back historical small-town of Malacca. I sang at a bar and took two rides in a trishaw (bicycle taxi). Note: when choosing a bicycle taxi driver, look for youth and strong legs.

Okay, I think I will leave it there for now. Next time I will tell more about Singapore, Taiwan, Hong Kong, and Macau. Hopefully someone still checks this blog once in a while... ; )

DOH! Plus Random College Photo

2008-08-29T15:55:00.007+09:00

So I had a little free time and I was messing around with the "customize" option on my blog. It said it would allow me to revert to my old design if I didn't like the new one. It lied. Grrr. So for now my blog is ugly & missing important toys, like a translator, wikipedia, etc. I am too lazy to fix it at the moment because it will take me a couple hours. So for the time being, enjoy the change.

And since I have blogged so little in the past year, I feel like now that I am actually writing something, well, I should write something. So again I look to my photos for inspiration.

Yep, I like this picture. It's unrelated to anything in this post, it's old, and in the picture I am not. Here's to old (young) friends. By the way a few years after this picture was taken (2000?) I bought a new pipe in Rome (January 2005) and I still have the tobacco I bought with it. What d'ya reckon? Probably ought to throw that away, eh?

Now listening to Beck: Odelay

Before September Comes

2008-08-27T14:50:00.014+09:00

Hey,

So I turned 32 last week. And I got a new computer and a few nice surprises, including a lovely french dinner. It happened during my vacation which is now almost over. Sigh. Didn't travel this time, but it's been relaxing and I have spent some good time with friends. Miss my pals back home, though, who all seem to be intent on making babies and getting married. One other exciting development for me is finally getting WiFi, which among other things means that, at least in theory, I can now get beaten at MarioKart WII by some of my aforementioned friends. Just like the old days. Yay!

This looks to be another blog post lacking inspiration.... Maybe some photos will help compensate.

So yeah, that was an awesome dinner.

And here are some pics from a subsequent night out where some friends surprised me:

And I would just like to point out that in this next shot, I was aiming the camera and nothing else. I prefer to do some things indoors. By the way the Japanese says "Be careful of the electric cable" and "Don't do that". Really it does.

IKEA is Here!

2008-06-18T10:32:00.001+09:00

And labyrinthine, I must say. I had to ask for directions to find my way back to the french press coffee makers. The staff lady drew me a map. It took 50 minutes from the time I decided I wanted it until it was mine. Oh my head. But I would do it again!

Three Months of Silence?

2008-04-29T19:11:00.002+09:00

I am writing this despite not really having time to write it nor much that I feel a pressing need to talk about. My motivation is the simple fact that I just realized I haven't written anything since the end of January.

Some stuff that has happened in the last three months:

1. Visited the U.S. and spent time with family in Oregon. Thanks in large part to my cousin who let me use his car for a week, the trip was pretty good. I had missed driving. So much so that my beloved cousin was sent a speeding ticket in the mail with a picture of the car and my chin. Since it is not his chin, he will not have to pay. I am pretty sure. And neither will I. Phew.

Besides visiting family and friends, I shopped. Mostly for shoes. Thanks again to the same cousin, I was able to bring all of said shoes back to Japan, in his huge Nike dufflebag. I was stopped at the airport because the customs officer found it hard to believe that the bag really was full of shoes. So I showed him. It's not that I have a shoe fetish or anything, it's just that it is next to impossible to find shoes my size in Japan, plus they are a lot cheaper in the U.S. I also bought clothes and video games, but an American Nintendo WII eluded me, as did Cadbury chocolate eggs of all varieties. I probably spent too much time looking for the former and not enough looking for the latter. Oh well.

2. I finally got Saturdays off. I now work Monday through Friday, morning till night. But I have weekends to myself! It's like a dream!

3. I started teaching part-time at additional school. More work, fewer workdays.

And there is more, I am sure, but it is not popping into my mind at the moment. Anyway, I will try to put some pictures up in the next few weeks and resume blogging at least monthly. Apologies for the prolonged absence.

February Approacheth

2008-01-25T15:31:00.000+09:00

Happy new year and stuff. I am cold. Brr. January 25th, and 25 days until my half-birthday. Unfortunately(?) 25 has nothing else to do with my age. I can't believe I am in my thirties. And I have spent most of my adult life in Asia. Wacky.

Anyway I thought I had better write something before January escapes. But I don't feel like writing anything. Duty-driven, I am. Enough to try and post once a month, at least.

Spent a week in Taiwan for Christmas, relaxed, ate good food, slept in big bed, enjoyed warm weather. Made it back to Japan for New Year's Eve, but really couldn't be bothered to do anything about it. Had a similarly disinterested friend, so rang in the new year with cocktails and video games at my place.

Speaking of my place, it has yet to recover from the pre- and post-Taiwan explosions. It was so clean, but then I spent two hours ransacking the place, vainly searching for an old cell phone. Then when I came back I just dumped everything on the floor. Much of it remains there to this day.

But I have an excuse besides being busy and living in a small apartment. Here goes: It is especially difficult to get motivated to clean when you know you are most likely moving in a month. Yep, still no confirmation, but the plan is to move into a bigger place, a little farther from work, but much more convenient otherwise. This apartment has been good to me, but I feel it is time for a change....

In other news, it looks like I will become much busier with work from April, as I am slated to teach English classes at a music conservatory in addition to my already full schedule. I am looking forward to it. My hours will increase dramatically, I think, but instead of working 6 days a week, I will be back to 5. So I reckon it is a good trade-off. Especially since I will be making a bit more money. Yay.

And the romance department is a secret soap opera. But at least the TV is working, even if I don't always like what's on.

OK, hope you enjoyed that fairly mundane update. There is of course much more to tell, but there is a time and a place for everything, and as the quote at the top of this blog suggests, this is certainly not the place for everything. To those who have been through hell recently and talked to me about it, you are in my thoughts and prayers. May the rest of this year bring only very very good things....

Nuts & Bolts

2007-12-05T23:15:00.001+09:00

A sign in a train station. I never investigated further.

Drin-King

2007-11-29T16:09:00.001+09:00

A bar in Osaka. No, I didn't go inside. Didn't feel I was qualified.

YouTube Video Recommendation #1

2007-11-28T01:38:00.000+09:00

Since my new and improved blog now includes YouTube, I'll go ahead and provide some occasional ideas for what you might watch. Try typing "Japanese exercise video" into the search bar. Push play on the the first one and try to do the exercises while repeating, without laughing. Or just watch it.

It's Mii!

2007-11-27T17:33:00.001+09:00

Just testing my mobile phone blogging set-up. And it appears to be operational. That means more fun for everyone. Oh, and for the uninitiated, a "Mii" is a character you design to represent yourself on the Nintendo Wii. Seems appropriate since I just added VIDEO GAMES to my blog! Enjoy! ;) (Btw, if you play the Mario game, the SHIFT button is what you use to kick the shell.)

वहत हप्पेनेद तो अक्तूबर?

2007-11-27T16:50:00.000+09:00

Hmm. That title said "What happened to October?" before it was automatically transliterated, but I have to admit Hindi looks cooler so I think I will just leave it that way.

And the answer to the question is, uh, well, like this blog, under construction. In other words I don't know. But the good news is that I found some make up and it seems I am mostly finished applying it. To my blog I mean. It is supposed to be a metaphor. Work with me here, people.

Speaking of this blog, not only do I not know where my old template disappeared to, but I also have no idea where the majority of the music came from. But most of it's not bad, so I can live it for the time being. Weird.

So this is one of those times when there is so much I could say to make up for my extended silence that I will instead say nothing. Well, nothing further. Until I do say something, that is. Right. Leave a comment to let me know you haven't given up on me completely. Much obliged.

What happened here?

2007-09-25T16:13:00.000+09:00

Apparently my blog is tired of being neglected. And it is fighting back by parading around without any make-up on. I don't know how this happened. Someday maybe I will do something about it. But that day is almost certainly not today.

The train ran over my shoe but thankfully my foot was elsewhere.

2007-08-30T15:13:00.000+09:00

So I tried to write another post but it died because I killed it. So I will just say that I turned 31 years old on August 19th and to celebrate I bought myself an electric toothbrush.

Oh yeah I just remembered something I can talk about. The evening before my birthday I went to a friend's house to play poker. I am not very good at poker but I won the final hand, probably because I didn't completely understand the rules. Low stakes, but it was still nice. Then I went with some friends to catch the last train into Osaka for a night out. While we were waiting on the platform I accidentally kicked my sandal into the air and into the train track below. No time to retrieve sandal, so the night continued with me barefoot. When we arrived in Osaka, I was planning to remain unshod, but was strongly encouraged to get something on my feet. The problem is they generally don't sell shoes in Japan that are big enough. The biggest size is usually between 27.5 and 30 cm; I wear 32. But I agreed to try to find some cheap flip-flops/beach sandals. The biggest pair I found were still way too small, but I went with it. Good news, only about $3. Bad news, lavender. Why were the biggest ones they had THAT color? Oh well, just adds to the memory. I got many comments on my footwear for the remainder of the evening.

The next evening I went to the beach to say hi to some friends who had been there partying all day. As it grew dark, some of them thought it would be fun to go skinny dipping. I found this mildly amusing, as an observer rather than a participant, but sobriety in the midst of revelry can be a bit of a downer, especially on a birthday. So while I was happy to see my friends, and boy, did I see my friends, I was happy to get home to some peace and quiet after three days of people people people.

And now I have some lavender beach sandals that I will almost certainly never wear again. Anybody want 'em? ;)

There is no need to read this.

2007-08-24T14:32:00.000+09:00

At some point in the near future I intend to post something. But not right now.

Choose my own adventure

2007-07-11T13:35:00.001+09:00

Here's a shot a friend took from a night out to karaoke last month. We are in Japan, but on this night there was not a Japanese person in the room. So I invited the girls from the room next door to join us. And they did. I will probably never get to see the pictures THEY took, though. Aaah.

In this scene I am busy singing and therefore have delegated my drink-ordering responsibilities to the young lady on my left, who does not live here and speaks no Japanese.

Or perhaps we both just saw the camera and struck a pose. I actually don't remember.

Robby is waiting!

2007-06-21T23:16:00.000+09:00

I noticed that I hadn't posted in about a week, so here's a little something to keep certain faithful supporters from getting restless. Perhaps it will even motivate one or two of them to come visit me in physical reality rather than just in cyberspace? I found a great place to stay, after all!

Cucumber Cola?

2007-06-13T21:51:00.000+09:00

On my way home from work tonight I stopped by the 99 yen store. This is what I found. Has anyone else seen this? The initial taste is kind of cucumber-y, but then it just tastes like cola, pretty much. Seems pretty weird to me, but then so did "Clamato" juice when it was new. In fact it still seems weird. But it caught on, so I reckon just about anything is possible. I will be sure to let you know if I find Clam Cola.

Bottled Up

2007-06-12T16:17:00.000+09:00

And they tried to tell me it couldn't be done....

Sticks and Stones

2007-06-08T00:42:00.001+09:00

So I went to a nearby zoo the other day. It was like any other zoo.

Penguins are cute wherever you go.

If you watch certain primates long enough they will do things that might embarrass you. Well maybe not you, per se, but normal people.

Ostriches are weird and a little scary.

Llamas are, well, llamas.

And so on. But what made this trip special was not so much the zoo, or the animals in it, but an animal I encountered shortly after leaving the zoo. It was a parrot, on a perch outside a coffee shop, with no physical restraints to keep him from taking off.

I had tried to get similar birds in the zoo to say 'strawberry', like in the movie "Up In Smoke" with Cheech & Chong (I think), but to no avail. I decided to give it one more go, and wonder of wonders, the bird spoke! In Japanese. Here is what he said in reply to my 'strawberry. strawberry' proddings: 「ばかやろう！ばかやろう！」("Baka yarou! Baka yarou!") To the uninitiated that does not mean strawberry in Japanese. It means 'You're an idiot! You're an idiot!'

Wanna Rumble?

2007-06-06T16:37:00.001+09:00

Image034.jpg
Originally uploaded by Hack Rambler

A few months ago I finally experienced a part of Japanese culture that I had been missing out on: SUMO. It was everything I hoped it would be and more. But I prefer to be a spectator when it comes to this particular sport.

Street Poetry

2007-06-06T16:29:00.001+09:00

Image024.jpg
Originally uploaded by Hack Rambler

Here is a picture that I took weeks ago and have only now managed to put up. There may be many more to come. Or not. I don't want to make promises. I wasn't going to type anything here, but there was all this empty grey space, and I don't usually like empty grey space. So I am filling it with empty white text.

Good Morning!

2007-06-01T10:13:00.000+09:00

Google translation of the previous post:

And [tsu] [ho] -! It is not written directly directly in Japanese. As for [watakushi] with just a little idle fellow shank. From now preparation of work and the [wa] which is not the time when empty this time you write excessively. The [ru] it is to everyone vigorous? Don't you think? so if it is good. As for me however it is vigorous, as for summer coming gradually it is hateful. Insect insect. Insect insect? Is the air conditioner is and others the [tsu] plain gauze? As for feeling hot [toni], there is two with the 2DK apartment. The kana which is confined from July? DVD you will see? ;)

おはようございます！

2007-06-01T10:04:00.000+09:00

やっほー！ずっとずっと日本語で書いてないな。ワタクシはちょっと怠け者ですね。今から仕事の準備やから今回あんまり書く時間ないわ。皆元気にしてはるん？そうならいいね。僕は元気なんですけど夏がそろそろ来るのは嫌。むしむし。むしむし？エアコンがいらっしゃいますか？暑がりトニーは、２ＤＫアパートで二つあるよ。7月から閉じこもるかな？ＤＶＤ見ようか？；）

A New Experience

2007-05-28T07:24:00.000+09:00

Saturday night a German man named Alfred kissed me square on the lips. His moustache was much thicker than the other Alfred's, though. Come to think of it, so were his lips.

You don't have to read this.

2007-05-24T13:21:00.000+09:00

I see that I haven't posted for more than a month. I can't think of anything to say at the moment, or at least nothing particularly interesting. Usually I try to post things that would be interesting whether you know me or not. This post will be an exception. It might not be interesting even if you do know me. But hey, it has a picture of myself and one of my good friends here in the Orient, so that's something. It might be helpful for those of you who have forgotten what I look like. And that is all. That is my post.

You Say "Kitchen," I say...

2007-04-18T13:19:00.000+09:00

Recently I was teaching a group of children a lesson about rooms in a home. Most of them can read, but one is still learning so he was remembering by using the pictures. The first picture was a room with a bed in it: bedroom. The second was a room with a bath: bathroom. The third was a picture of a woman taking a turkey out of the oven. I asked him what it was. He thought for a moment and then got a big smile on his face, happy because he finally knew one. "Ah! The chicken room!"

Analyze This

2007-04-10T10:40:00.000+09:00

Last night I was a gun fighter in the wild west. Except when I wasn't in the wild west, like when I was reliving a memory of the future. My father had given me two new guns, a rifle and a pistol, and I was using them with decent success, only it was happening many years prior. Most of the time. But I kept running out of ammo and having to use this big knife to kill before being killed. It was pretty gruesome. At one point I couldn't seem to get it right... just kept stabbing this guy. His wincing face seemed to be saying, "Could you get it over with, already?" The problem was that the blade was slightly curved, better for slicing and hacking than stabbing. I'm not sure why I insisted on the latter method. Anyway, just as I had finally managed a good one, the stabbee, who was my senior by five years or so, mentioned that we were actually brothers. After he explained about the secret of our shared parents and convinced me, I criticized his poor timing, took his knife from him and left.

Later I was being chased by a couple who wanted me dead, but again I was out of ammo. And when I say later, I guess it was about 100 years later, because I drove a car to a shopping mall while being pursued by the murderous duo. As luck would have it there was a big store specializing in hunting supplies. While I didn't remember ever seeing such a place in a shopping mall before, this was not the time to question it, so I accepted my good luck and went inside. Somehow I had managed to buy a little time, and I was confident that no one knew I was there.

Unfortunately, the pistol my father had bought me was very special, and the lady behind the counter said she would have to make the bullets one at a time, at a rate of about a dollar a piece, but she could be done in about 20 minutes. I reluctantly agreed, and shopped around a bit while I waited. My eyes fell on a nice straight knife that would be good for stabbing, and I decided I had to have it. Also I took a look at another pistol, one with cheaper bullets, but it wasn't in my budget to buy another gun. It was made in the U.S.A., and at $868, it was the cheapest model available.

Then I was in a small house in a rural setting, with a good friend. He was giving me advice on my weapons problems, when a crooked cop came by and started bullying him around a bit. I was ready to solve the problem but my friend restrained me. So rather than kill him I began mocking him incessantly. I have to admit it felt more rewarding. Somehow this approach worked for him, and he became friendly.

Then, while standing in the kitchen shooting the breeze, we were informed that we were going to sing a song, with the police for back up singers. My friend and I shared a knowing laugh when we both said, "The Police?! Oh, wait, that's 50 years from now. Ah! Shhh!" Not really the wild west anymore, but no shopping malls either. While we waited my friend and our hostess, the lead singer, shared a cigarette Lady and the Tramp style. I don't know what else to call it. Both ends were lit, even though one end was the filter, and they would suck simultaneously. I don't see how physics allows for this, but at the time it only seemed slightly odd. We had a bit of a panic because we needed something to give us the starting note for our song, and our backup police band would be arriving shortly. None of us had perfect pitch, and there were no musical instruments to be found. It didn't occur to us that the band would have them. So I came up with a brilliant plan. We would play the theme song to "Dukes of Hazzard," and then we would all decide which note to start on from that song. That way we would be able to check it again later, from the same song. I was really proud to have thought of such an inventive idea. How resourceful of me.

Then I saw myself on TV! I was sitting next to my cousin watching an American football game. There was a short interview and the whole crowd knew me and laughed at my one of a kind humor. Our team won, 42-0, but my cousin later commented that they played horribly. I took issue with this, but I let the conversation die because I didn't want to argue anymore. Also, I was preoccupied. I was thinking that if one bullet cost a dollar in the wild west, it would be like $100 now. That didn't seem right at all....

Then I was eating tofu and praising it's culinary virtues to a skeptical friend of mine. He said we needed to have the TV repaired. So I called my wife and son in our Manhattan penthouse and told them that Chip and Dale would be dropping by in the afternoon to have a look at it.

Pictures as Penitence

2007-04-09T13:03:00.000+09:00

In an attempt to attone somewhat for my lack of pictures and posts of late, here is a link to a plethora of photos of my neighborhood, taken by a friend of a friend when he visited recently.

These pictures are interesting because they show Japan from a visitor's perspective. I have lived here long enough that I am rarely surprised by things that would have once produced shock and/or uncontrollable laughter. I am pretty dang desensitized, I reckon.

Also, they will have sentimental value for Billy and especially Gomiyage.

For those of you who have never been to Japan, welcome to my world.

Bonus points if you can find the picture with me in it. There are also a few of my good friends Ian and Ulala, who recently became engaged to be married. I was there for the event with my video camera trained on them both the whole time, but later discovered that I hadn't actually been recording. Oops. But that's another story altogether. Oh my head.

Click on the title of this post to go to the pictures! And thanks to "DJ Bolivia" for all his hard work. His blog is pretty interesting too; you might want to check it out.

"Not now, Honey"

2007-04-06T22:27:00.000+09:00

I snapped this shot on a weekday afternoon in an underground shopping area near a subway entrance. At first I was afraid to get too close to take a picture, but I eventually concluded that this couple was not only unconcerned, but most likely unconscious.

Now, who can think of the best caption for this post? I will arbitrarily choose the winner and honor him/her by using the caption as the title.

Silence of the Ham

2007-04-04T11:57:00.000+09:00

Sometimes I don't blog because I'm lazy. Sometimes I don't blog because I'm hazy.
This time it's been the latter of the two, sorry if I have inconvenienced you.

War: What's it Good For?

2007-03-02T08:48:00.000+09:00

Last night I was engaged in a battle that I was lucky to survive. My unit had overtaken an enemy camp but they ambushed us. We found ourselves fighting them with their own weaponry. The trigger mechanisms on their artillery were a bit different than what I was used to. Instead of using the conventional finger-pull, most of their weapons were very modern blowguns. In order to fire multiple consecutive rounds, I had to make machine gun sounds into the blow-trigger. The damage created was less than desired, but the ammunition seemed to never run out. After what seemed like hours of blowing bullets, there were only a few of us left who were not dead, seriously wounded, or just too out of breath to blow anymore. It was announced that the war was over, and that a peace agreement had in fact been reached the day before, but that communications had been down for a time, sorry for the delay. So we had been killing each other for nothing. By this time there were only myself and one enemy soldier continuing to fight. Upon hearing that the war was over, we both stood up and left our guns on the ground. Gasping for air and filled with confusion, we wandered toward each other. Still filled with adrenaline, we both arrived at the same conclusion simultaneously: "OK, so I don't have to kill you. But we have to finish this." So we began hand-to-hand combat. As it turned out, my opponent was significantly weaker than myself. Perhaps this is because I have been going to the gym recently. He was honorable, though, and never tried to grab a gun. He did, however, find two dustpans with very sharp edges, one for each hand. I anticipated this, though, and made him pay for it by taking them from him and bludgeoning him repeatedly with the handles. I don't think he ever hit me once, actually. He could use a blowgun, but he didn't have much skill in dealing blows. He could take them, however. No glass jaw on this guy. He was tough, and he was stubborn, doggedly refusing to quit despite being obviously outmatched. I respected his guts, and decided to award myself a TKO before I killed the poor chap, and while his face was still recognizable. So I applied a sleeper hold. Oddly enough, he began to sing. His national anthem, I believe it was. I was impressed that he was able to sing so clearly in spite of everything. A real patriot. Just as I was beginning to wonder if I was failing to execute the hold properly, the singing abruptly stopped. I stood silently for a moment, surrounded by bewildered men from both sides all breathing heavily. I took one last look at my defeated rival, dropped my dustpans and reported back to my commanding officer.

Have a beer, on you! OR Terms of Embeerment

2007-02-22T22:35:00.000+09:00

Right, so I haven't finished talking about Sunday yet. After church some friends and their friends happened to be in the same neighborhood so we met up. On our way to do a little sightseeing, we met a Japanese guy who recognized one of my friend's friends from college. It is extra wacky because said friend was visiting from Canada at the time. So our number increased by one more, as the Japanese dude joined us. As we were walking he said, "I saw YOU today too, at church." Crazy stuff, especially in a city of about 10 million people.

After the sightseeing part was over, we went to dinner. Okonomiyaki. Think of pancake batter with a lot of cabbage and some meat in it, cooked then covered with a Japanese sauce and mayonnaise. Yummy. Then we proceeded to one of our favorite bars. By some miracle there was room for all six of us to sit side by side at the counter. But I still ended up talking to strangers instead. I have a tendency to do that. There were three Marines who were out letting off some steam for the night. I didn't talk to them much, but they didn't know the town, and we were all planning to go to a big party next, so I mentioned it to them. They were keen to join, so now we were nine. I was actually torn between catching the last train home and staying out, but since everyone seemed up for the party I decided to go with the flow. Perhaps Japan is teaching me about conformity. But as we were walking, the five people I was with originally ALL decided to go home instead of to the party. OK, no problem. Except that I had already told the Marine guys that I would show them a cool place. So I couldn't go home until the NEXT DAY.

Fine, fine, I think, nothing I can do about it now, so I will just make the best of it. Should still be fun. After a bit of walking, a rather boisterous taxi ride, and a trip to the convenience store, we finally made it to the club. One of my Japanese friends had invited me, saying that even though it was Sunday it would be a huge party. She was mistaken. The club had already closed. I dislike poorly written fliers.... So I told my new companions that we had been misinformed, but that I would do my best to take them to some cool bars, at least.

The ten minute walk to the next venue took more like thirty, because one of the three was randomly entering any place that looked like it might be in any way sexual in nature. So of course we had to wait for him to give up or get kicked out. When I realized what was happening I told him no more detours. I think the other two wanted to tell him that, too, but he outranked them.

This is getting long. I am getting tired of typing it. So from here I shall condense. First bar: Mr. Detour very social, his friends very chill, my Japanese friend arrives, we chat, I am thinking ugh 5 more hours of this. We get ready to move on to another spot, but first Mr. Detour has to add to his collection of beer glasses from bars they have visited that night. Apparently he talked the bartender into giving him one, because he walked out drinking from it. Later he puts it into his bag which is already full of similar items, most of which were, I think, obtained legally.

Next bar: Bartender and Mr. Detour do not get along. Mr. D asks me directions to the train station. I refuse to tell him because he is now in the advanced stages of drunk-think, and there are no trains for hours. One of his friends, who has been thanking me repeatedly for my patience, does so again and says not to worry, he will take care of him. I believe him and return to my seat. Meanwhile my Japanese friend informs me that Mr. D has busy hands. I solve this problem by telling him that her father is in the Japanese mafia and thus she is better left alone. This strategy is effective until Mr. D forgets what I had said, but by then he and his friends are leaving to find a hotel anyway.

I don't have a problem with Marines in particular or with the three young men from Sunday night. They all seemed like nice enough guys. I even gave Mr. D my hat, because his bald head was cold. So was mine, but I didn't really like the hat that much anyway. I enjoyed much of the time simply because it was an experience, but I was irritated at times by the effects of too much alcohol consumption and by feeling responsible for these three guys. But all in all, no regrets.

Still 3 hours plus until there is a train home. So we start talking to three Japanese guys sitting near us. Rapport is built. Trust is established. Magic tricks are performed. Next thing we know, we are all getting into a taxi to somewhere. It turns out one of the three guys has a bar. So he takes us there. It is a little out of the way, but it is great! Good atmosphere, nice people, and it has karaoke! And on top of that we were his guests so everything was free (although we still paid a little bit when we left).

I am drinking very slowly because I don't want to sleep all day Monday, but I am having fun just talking and observing. At one point I stand up and my jacket knocks a cocktail onto the floor. Oops. The master, our friend who brought us there, comes and kneels down to clean it up, saying not to worry and that it happens all the time. Of course I feel bad, but I know it's not the end of the world. I try to get out of the way so he can have room to deal with the mess, but in the process somehow manage to knock a full mug of beer onto the floor, all over his head and suit, and all over a girl sitting nearby that I don't even know.

Apart from apologizing profusely I don't know what I can do. After getting cleaned up both of my victims are still in good spirits and don't seem upset at all. But I am still so embarrassed and ashamed, so I ask if there is anything I can do to make up for my idiocy. The girl says yes there is, and asks me to sing Backstreet Boys. I say that I can do that, but wouldn't she rather hear ANYTHING else? So she settles for "Bad" by Michael Jackson, "Without You" by Mariah Carey, and the theme song to a Korean TV drama, in Korean. Not only was she placated, but by the time all was said and done we had talked for quite a while and she and her friend promised to email me. She kept her promise and said we should all go out again sometime. I wonder if next time she will choose an outfit that is beer-resistant?

Birthday, Baldness, Bicycles, Buses, Beer

2007-02-20T14:59:00.000+09:00

Yesterday was my half-birthday. I turned 30.5. Since my birthday is in August, I was never able to celebrate with my friends while in school, so I started commemorating my half-birthday in college. I think some people who remember my half-birthday actually don't know when my real birthday is unless they do the math. Others, including most of my family, don't know either but they can get the month right, usually. That's good enough for me.

In other news, I have no hair.

Except on my face. And my chest, arms, legs.... I mean I have no hair on my head. I shaved it. And just for the record I would like to say that I did it before Brittney.

Last Friday I began my new fitness club membership with a vigorous workout before going to teach in the morning. I was feeling energized and admittedly a bit proud of myself when I walked outside. But those feelings were soon replaced with irritation and disappointment. My bicycle was gone. Either stolen or impounded by the city for parking on the sidewalk. I don't know yet which one. This is probably the fourth time Japan has taken one of my bicycles. But it will be the first time I pay the $25 U.S. to get one back. That is, if in fact it was the city that took it. And yes, it was locked. So I had to walk to work and then back home, but oh well.

Then on Saturday night I did the almost unthinkable. I stayed home. I wanted to get up early and try a new church on Sunday. It was really hard for me, but somehow I managed. I stepped out into the frigid morning at about the same time I would usually be coming home on a Sunday. I rode my mountain bike, since my other bicycle is M.I.A., and proceeded promptly to wreck it. To add to the fun, I was almost hit by a taxi in the process. The rain had made the streets really slick--a fact that I did not notice until I tried to make a fast left turn against traffic onto a one-way street. The taxi driver and passengers were not amused, even though I tried to be, uh, funny about it. Cold, hard stares of derision. Anyway, the chain was off my bike so I had to push it the rest of the way. I parked at the place where I work in order to avoid losing another two-wheeled friend to bureaucracy. I finally got to the train station, rode to the stop nearest the church, and then walked to the place where the shuttle buses come. I was two minutes late. No bus came. So I went to a coffee shop and read for an hour or so and then walked back down the hill to wait for either of two shuttles to the next service. I was 15 minutes early and waited an extra 15 minutes after the scheduled arrival time, but no bus came. So I went back home. Fortunately I made it to another church in the afternoon. But that's not really the point of this story. The point is: Grrrr.

But some good news is that, thanks to Valentine's Day, I now have lots of chocolate, my iPod still works after all (I was worried it might be broken), and bald is beautiful.

Sometime in the next few days I suppose I will write about the rest of Sunday, and how spilling beer all over a girl is a good way to start a conversation.

Really, it works. If she still talks to you, she is probably really worth getting to know. If she doesn't, well you probably just saved yourself a lot of time.

Spelunking at Home

2007-01-23T23:47:00.000+09:00

today i found a whole other room in my apartment. i had thought it was just an empty space to throw my clothes and luggage into, but as it turns out there is flooring, a desk, a closet, entertainment system, a phone, an exercise bike, shelves... even a bed! i am going to try sleeping in it tonight. this is very exciting. i have moved my computer to the desk. perhaps this new location will foster more frequent internet use....

Hello Billy

2007-01-23T23:39:00.000+09:00

2 minute morning

2007-01-20T09:15:00.000+09:00

OK so i have to take a shower and get to work but i thought i would take just two minutes to let people know that i am still alive. though i probably look half-dead now since i just got out of bed. for some reason unknown even to me, i have been avoiding the internet. or at least i haven't missed it. since i got back from taiwan, where i would go out of my way to find a computer nearly every day so i could check my email, etc., i have been strangely unmotivated to touch my keyboard, even though it is conveniently located in the comfort of my apartment. i am pretty sure i need counselling, but then, i am pretty sure you do too. some more than others. right... so my two minutes has elapsed more than two times. perhaps i will post more than two times in january. but don't hold your breath. thanks for your comments. it is nice to know my absence was noticed. have a great weekend.

The Man in the Bus

2006-12-19T10:39:00.000+09:00

Apologies for the return of the lazy busy sandwich, digestion of which kept me once more from my beloved blog-readers, and even more beloved blog-comment writers! Actually I am still busy, maybe not so lazy. I shouldn't be writing this, since I have lots to do today and little time in which to do it, but I felt coincidence beckoning and couldn't resist. Yesterday I watched one of my favorite movies, Napoleon Dynamite, for what must have been the 20th time. And last night I received an e-mail via my Japanese homepage from a young lady in Tokyo whom I have never met. It seems she also watched the movie and did a search under the Japanese title, バス男, or "Bus Man". Since I mention it on my profile, she found me. She asked me to translate some poetry from English to Japanese.... First I will need to translate it from English to English! Anyway, here is her review of バス男, followed by the Google mutilation, uh, I mean translation:

コメディ映画『バス男』を観たけど、、題名の意味が分らないままだった〜。
主人公の容姿やナポレオン・ダイナミックという名前からして、ほ〜ん(*￣￣*)って面白いのだけれど、、『バス男』と何の関連があったんだろ･･･。
特典メニューも全て見たけど関連性がつかめずじまい。
まいいっか。

ナポレオン役のジョン・ヘダー、いいわ〜♪
テケテケ走る姿もクスっと笑える。
何気にダンスうまかったし（笑）
ああいう人、私好きだわ〜

「肉のハナマサ」で買ったワインでも飲んで、次はCDを聞きましょ

The rice D movie 'bus man' was seen however, meaning of title did not continue to understand, -. The figure of the protagonist and doing from the name, Napoleonic dynamic, the [ho] - it is (*) it is the [tsu] [te] to be funny however, 'some relation met with the bus man', it is the [ro] which is…. However the benefit menu everything you saw, it cannot grasp connection and the stripe is. Will not it is, the [tsu]? John [heda] of Napoleonic part, good [wa] - ♪ [teketeke] the [kusu] [tsu] you can laugh also the form which it runs. Dance it was good in some air and (laughing) such person, me favorite the [wa] - with drinking even with the wine which is bought “[hanamasa] of the meat”, the next inquires about CD, the better [yo]

As for real life, well, I have plenty to blog about. And I have been keeping a list. My vacation is coming soon, so perhaps I will find free time and motivation along for the journey to help me with my mission. Though I must confess, lack of comments makes Hack a slow poster! I am thinking of my readers, here. I want to know it is being taken in in the proper order, see? It reminds me of Pink Floyd (and I believe this is the second time I have mentioned Pink Floyd in my ramblings): "How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?!"

The Man in the Box

2006-11-28T02:36:00.000+09:00

No, this is not a post about my apartment, though that too would be fitting, given the title. This is a post about a little Japanese TV I happened to see at nearly 2 a.m. tonight.

Picture this:

Two men. One cardboard box. One roll of tape. One timer.

Rock, Paper, Scissors.

Loser gets in box. Winner gets on top. Tape goes on box. Timer is started. Box tips to and fro, eventually toppling over. But time keeps ticking and Box Man cannot free himself. Tape Man finally removes some of the tape, then walks away laughing hysterically. Well over one minute has passed. Box which had been shaking violently is now barely moving. Tape Man stops laughing long enough to realize that perhaps Box Man cannot breathe. Panics. Moves to remove the remaining tape. Suddenly the box explodes open and Box Man emerges, disheveled and breathless. "I couldn't get any air! [gasp gasp] I thought I was going to die in there!" Tape Man remembers timer, dives to the ground to grab it as quickly as possible, and stops it. But then doesn't bother to read the time.

Crowd applauds with uproarious laughter.

Both men look at a large countdown timer visible on the stage and realize that they have only 7 minutes until the next commercial break. All is forgotten. Onto next bit.

What can we all learn from this? That it is worthwhile to practice Rock, Paper, Scissors, for one thing. It may very well pay off someday. Then again, some of us on the mere basis of size alone would never qualify to become Box Men. But better safe than sorry....

Food Poisoning & Unfortunate

2006-11-23T23:36:00.000+09:00

Here is the Google Translator rendering of my last post, title included (I will be doing this more often since I am now maintaining an entirely Japanese page as well. Enjoy!):

The yesterday kind [otsusan] friend you ate out. Him going to Viking which is chosen, you ate of course all the way. As for MENU: Plate noodles, the China frying, the curry rice, sirloin stake, gratin. As for dessert cake and ice-cream. You drank also the fruit juice. Entirely so-so tasty kana - with. Then it struck and went to the [tsu] releasing. It was golf team member in high school student age. That time the [me] [tsu] [chi] [ya] of the grandfather and the coach old golf club you use. So how hole in one it was possible! It was not believed! And 15 years later… first sphere it is enormous straightly, it flew! You were surprised! Obtaining -? 'It can go and it is?' being said, the just a little self-confidence increasing seed. But, after that at all it was useless. However advice of the friend you heard already, after all like this the sport which is said is not agreeable with my character, what it becomes moldy and tries the [yo] [u] the place being many. So the friend encouraging directly, just a little, tries probably to persevere it is. When the [a] [a] [a], it stopped more quickly, it was good! Even after that full swinging the club of the friend,… you break and the [chi] [ya] [tsu] are! While the friend laughing, 'it was good, it was good!'With you say. 'With something?'With hearing, 'you throw away it is and the empty. It is good, at all to an air!' So such it is simple to say. It was shy! However the friend it was good being kind so, don't you think?. Returning at around 11 o'clock in the afternoon, it became feeling bad. It lifted to the thing rest room which you ate. As for the mouth it is not the entrance and the [tsu] [chi] [ya] [tsu] it is in the [te] exit. Today in the house it smelled directly. At last now just a little it became better. The [wa] which temporarily does not go to that Viking. It does not go to either the striking [tsu] releasing -. The [wa] which this time is possible to be the boring. Even there something the kana which can be broken? You understood. The ball of the friend you do not borrow!

食中毒　＆　気の毒

2006-11-23T23:29:00.000+09:00

昨日優しいオッサン友達と外食しました。彼選んだバイキングに行って、もちろんいっぱい食べた。MENUは：皿うどん、唐揚げ、カレーライス、サーロインステーキ、グラタン。デザートはケーキとアイスクリーム。フルーツジュースも飲みました。全部まあまあ美味しかったかなーと。

それから打ちっ放しへ行った。高校生時代にゴルフチームメンバだった。その時お爺さんとコーチのめっちゃ古いゴルフクラブ使ってた。でもなんとホールインワン出来た！信じられなかった！

そして１５年後・・・

一球目まっすぐに凄い飛んだ！びっくりした！えー？『いけるやんか』と言われてちょっと自信増えたね。

しかし、その後は全然だめだった。友達のアドバイスもう聞いたけどやっぱりこう言うスポーツは私の性格と合わない、なんかびみょうな所が多くて。でも友達はずっと励ましてもちょっと頑張ろうと思うた。あぁあ、もっと早くやめたら良かった！だってその後友達のクラブをフルスイングして・・・壊しちゃった！

友達笑いながら『よかった、よかった！』と言ってた。『何で？』と聞いて、『捨てるもんやから。いいよ，全然気にしないで！』

でもそんな言うのは簡単。恥ずかしかった！友達そんなに優しくて良かったけどね。

午後１１時頃に帰って、気分悪くなってきた。食べた物トイレにあげた。口は入り口ではなくて出口になっちゃった。今日ずっと家の中におった。やっと今ちょっとましになった。

とりあえずあのバイキングに行かないわ。打ちっ放しにも行かないな〜。今度ボーリングでいいわ。あそこでも何か壊せるかな？分かった。友達のボール借りません！

My Neighborhood

2006-11-14T05:01:00.000+09:00

This picture was taken from the train station nearest my apartment. Not a bad place to live. Too quiet, though! And it would be nice if the river actually had water in it, but I guess I can't have everything. The ocean is just a few minutes' walk away, so I can manage.

Geek Week

2006-11-09T02:12:00.000+09:00

I am turning into an internet geek. But probably just for a little while. In the last few days I have created myspace and ringo accounts, and joined a Japanese online community, where I post just like I do here but not in English. Good way to study the language and culture, I thought. And I was correct. But now things have gotten really out of hand. I actually took the time to write a review of a product on Yahoo! I bought a new digital camera at Costco the other day and I have been very happy with it. I don't know what possessed me to go to the trouble, but I did. You can see it, I think, if you click on the title of this post. This nerdiness can't last, so if any of you are concerned about me, don't be. It is a welcome distraction from other mental meanderings that are less edifying.

Use and Abuse

2006-11-07T12:46:00.000+09:00

BEFORE:

AFTER:

Went to Costco the other day, again, even though I didn't intend to buy anything. My friends are just using me for my membership. Oh well, it gave me something to do. Of course I ended up spending about $100, though nearly half of that was to renew my membership. So I can keep getting used. Anyway, while I was waiting for the user of the day to apply for a credit card, I encountered Tai-chan, one of my students, and his cousin Yuna. His mom came later to rescue them, but I gave her the camera instead. I was looking through my pictures and I noticed that there are a lot where I am attacking children. Hmm... all I can say in my defense is: THEY STARTED IT!!

Where's the Beaver?

2006-11-03T23:42:00.000+09:00

Sadly, he was unaccounted for. Las Vegas took priority, apparently. But we salute him, nonetheless.

This picture is from my alma mater's recent homecoming football game. It was also our 5-year reunion. Miraculously, our team emerged victorious, and for a few moments, a lot of people who don't care at all about the success of the football team found themselves cheering ecstatically. I was among them, and I make no apologies. And my pants and shirt are ruined thanks to Crazy Carl the Cokehead. That was a non-sequitir. Don't try to make a connection. There isn't one. Next time I am stateside I want Crazy Carl the Cokehead to take me shopping. And he will not be allowed to drink while driving the cart.

Alive and Clicking

2006-11-03T17:08:00.000+09:00

I have so much to say that I will say nothing. Well, almost nothing. This photo is from the homestead in eastern Oregon. Visited there last month, though as usual I didn't have nearly enough time. This picture is a lot like how I have been feeling lately, which is also one of my reasons for such a prolonged absence from merry adventuring. These days I am an angry, lonely man, and my countenance is a stop sign to those who might approach me, while my gut is filled with rocks. No not kidney stones, but little balls of rage that threaten to produce ulcers and rob me of precious sleep. But I am getting better, I think. I have to go have dinner with someone I don't even like now so that I can get my DVDs back. After I get home, maybe I will write something happy. Perhaps, just as influenza led to the creation of this blog, extreme irritation will foster more nifty results. We can only wait and hope! By the way, the technical term for this apparatus, which forms the corner of a barbed-wire fence line (and I will leave it to the reader to continue the analogy--or not... I am feeling rather prickly), is "rock dummy". How very fitting. Grrr. Be nice to me or I might write a post that I will later have to erase in regret. Don't tempt the fury.

Be True to Your School Newspaper

2006-10-15T13:40:00.000+09:00

Been away from the ol' blog for a while. Ventured stateside to check on my peeps. Got wrangled into an interview in the process. Had to wait 5 years after graduating but at last I got my name in the school paper. OK, it might have made it in a time or two before.... Click here to go there.

Extreme Thumb Wrestling OR Yubizumo Yokozuna

2006-09-20T19:17:00.002+09:00

I recently became acquainted with a young lady who is without question the best thumbwrestler I have ever faced. I had considered myself a relatively formidable opponent, but I now have cause for doubt. The person in question claims to have only been beaten once, by a soccer player in Hong Kong with exceptionally well-developed digits. I am not usually THAT competitive, but after numerous defeats I began wanting just one victory, to somehow redeem myself from the shame. One fateful night a while ago I asked for a rematch. On a bridge over a busy city street the battle ensued. And I held my own for a good 60 seconds or so. But then, with a surprise maneuver my thumb was rendered temporarily immobile, and the ten count began. In a moment of panic I lost control, like a child being tickled to the brink of temporary insanity. Before I knew what had happened, I had elbowed my opponent in the face. The shock loosened her vice-like grip on my thumb, and, miraculously, at that very moment I was able to seize the opportunity my spasm had afforded me and get the coveted pin. Though the path was not entirely nobly trodden, there were no intentional fouls committed and thus my conscience is clear. When I told a friend of my somewhat tainted victory, he replied coldly, "The end justifies the means." As it happens, he too had suffered defeat too many times to count. I think he found some vicarious satisfaction in my triumph. Perhaps all the more so because it was dirty.

Location Location Location

2006-08-28T15:09:00.000+09:00

Location Location Location, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

Apparently this is the place to go, judging strictly by the sign. Now I have joined the elite few who can say they've been there. And I wasn't even looking for it!

THIRTY

2006-08-20T17:37:00.000+09:00

THIRTY, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

Now accepting congratulations and condolences. Thanks to all who have sent emails or posted comments to wish me a happy birthday. If you want photos, you should go to www.mindyourmillers.blogspot.com, August 18th post. I am pretty sure Mr. Miller has more pictures of me than I do. I feel loved. Thanks again, sir.

Fire in the Sky

2006-08-05T18:01:00.000+09:00

Fire in the Sky, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

Besides the beach, I have also gone to see fireworks twice in the last two weeks. Both involved herds of people and hoards of alcohol. And burning. The fireworks themselves didn't impress me much, but the friendly festival atmosphere makes it worthwhile. Not many better chances to talk to lots and lots of random people. Good times.

"Boxers on the Beach" OR "Generation Gap" OR "Bait With No Fishing"

2006-08-03T22:50:00.001+09:00

Boxers on the Beach, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

I have been to the beach two weekends in a row. It takes less than half an hour from my house. Three years of living in the same place, and I never went to the beach. You might say I am a slow learner. No, I am not trying to make up for lost time... I don't think. Anyway....

A lot of the Hack that you see in this photo has died. Literally. I am molting. Never believe a sunscreen that says it is waterproof.

I find it somewhat ironic that while some of these girls are wearing bikinis that look just like underwear, I actually am wearing only my underwear.Due to unforeseen circumstances, I found myself beachbound with no swim gear, save boxers from the Gap. Complete with a rather inconveniently located gap. Well, usually it is convenient but not on this particular day. I wore the floatie donut to help me be more discreet.

Speaking of discretion, I discovered, via my ever-improving Japanese interrogation techniques, that all the girls except the white chick are in high school. Ergo my first ever triple-titled post. Which do you prefer? (Which title, that is.) Cast your vote now!

A Kiss to Build a Post On

2006-07-29T18:04:00.001+09:00

A Kiss to Build a Post On, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

Ok, here's your post. That's about a thousand words, right? I hope so, because my muse is on vacation.

I Saw the Sign

2006-07-14T14:19:00.000+09:00

I Saw the Sign, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

Only water? Yeah, right. I will write more when I can use my fingers too, and not just my thumbs.

Oh my head!

2006-06-29T15:31:00.000+09:00

Oh my head!, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

Too much Mountain Dew made me forget my blog. At least that is the working theory at the moment. I am planning to drink only water for an entire month, starting July 2nd. I will eat normally but no juice, no coffee and no Mountain Dew! I am just curious what will happen. I should lose some weight since I drink gallons of fluids every day.

Plenty of drama in my life at the moment, but not much that is bloggable. Right now it is so hot outside that I am just sitting at home with two air conditioners running and playing video games. I realize that is not the most productive thing I could be doing, but I have been in the mood lately. Killed a lot of people playing Bond today. No, I wasn't imagining they were real people. I am practicing the art of choosing to be happy even though there are plenty of reasons to be pissed off. It is working pretty well so far. That combined with feeling sorry for the haters rather than hating them.

I am pretty sure that is the first time I have ever used the word 'hater'. Possibly this was the last.

I haven't thought much about what I could post, because I literally forgot about my blog for a while. Too much else going on, I suppose. But I shall attempt to get back on track and refocus my efforts. Actually I took a great picture but my phone won't send it because it takes too much memory or something. Anti-that.

As for the picture above, I am actually DRINKING from the glass. It is larger than my head, which itself is larger than average. Water, my trademark drink for the next month.... After the month is over, perhaps I will celebrate by ordering the $50 beer that comes in this glass!

At the risk of seeming a bit obsessed....

2006-06-08T01:28:00.000+09:00

At the risk of seeming a bit obsessed...., originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

I paid more than 3000 yen for this, without hesitation. And I would do it again. It may be necessary, too, as the supply is dwindling fast.

Out of Sync

2006-06-07T11:08:00.000+09:00

Out of Sync, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

What can one say to this?

Woo hoo!

2006-06-01T12:26:00.000+09:00

Woo hoo!, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

I finally found it!

Welcome to the Jungle

2006-05-12T14:44:00.000+09:00

From my town's monthly English newsletter:

Be Cautious of Behavior of Crows in Their Breeding Season!
During the period of March-May for their breeding season, crows make their nests gathering withered twigs and piling them up on the tall trees in the parks, or trees lining a street and also on the telegraph poles. Their fierce caws like "Quwak Quwak" in this period are acts of threatening because they are brooding or raising baby birds. You had better part from them instantly, for they may assault you on the head in some occasions. When you are forced to pass near by, wearing a hat or using an umbrella will be helpful in lessening the damage.

Food for doves causes increase of crow individuals, so please do not leave the dove food, nor feed the crows.

Never Feed Wild Boars or Doves!
Wild boars make frequent appearances in populated areas during the night or early morning looking for garbage left for collection or food given to the homeless cats. They often run after people, dig the garden or flower beds over, and even break gates or fences, in serious cases. To prevent them from damaging, please put the garbage in the appointed collection station at the appointed time, and do not feed wild animals and birds like boars or doves.

Just finished reading: "Kafka on the Shore," by Haruki Murakami
Now playing: Frank Sinatra: The Complete Collection, 1943-1952

Feel Wood.

2006-05-09T18:13:00.000+09:00

Feel Wood., originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

On a lighter note....

Cacophonous Bleating: Hack on Hack

2006-05-09T16:40:00.000+09:00

Warning: Overly self-analytical psycho-babble may be contained in the following post.

Last week I had a day, actually just an evening, where it was nearly impossible to look at things positively. For a number of hours, no matter what happened, some dark childish monster inside me was spinning negativity into all my thoughts. Ok, that might be a bit passive, like I don't claim responsibility for it myself. But I let the monster out. "I" being, I suppose, the rational being, allowing emotions to have a joyride and ignore all the traffic signals. I have the driver's license, but at some point I let the DCM take the wheel. I just kind of watched.

I never talk on the phone. Well, rarely. But for some reason that night I talked to four different people on the phone. Gradually that helped me get back in the driver's seat. That, a stupid but humorous movie (the first 30 minutes of it, anyway), and a good book. By the time I went to bed I was feeling much better, but not before having a few collisions.

I am relatively certain that I am relatively normal. But I am open to debate. Does anyone else feel like there is a veritable herd of 'animals' inside, various manifestations of emotional energy, all in need of constant management in order to maintain at least a semblance of harmony, of synthesis? And that to keep them all in check perfectly is next to impossible, but at the same time that which you inherently know you should strive for? Is this the meaning of integrity? When the herd is living together in peace, I am my best self. But usually there are at least a few strays, and if I let them wander too long it throws off the balance and the whole group gets restless. Like a shepherd managing the flock that constitutes his very being. "Just being" is not always such an easy proposition.

In any case I am thankful for friends that call me back to myself, though usually unwittingly, and for the small things in life that remind me of the joy of living. This week I have been rediscovering some of these: literature, music, and even tackling a sudoku puzzle now and then have perhaps stimulated parts of my mind that were craving attention. Not that I hadn't been reading, or listening to music or using my mind. Just that I needed to do those things with a different perspective, one of feeding myself with what I need rather than eating whatever I happened to come across in my daily routine. A more intentional approach has reawakened my appetite for life, at least in a sense. I think maybe the isolation I sometimes feel being in Japan with few very good friends nearby has taken a toll on me, dulling my experience of life. It's as if in order to deal with the loneliness I have become comfortably numb. Yes I realize that is a Pink Floyd song and to be honest I have never thought much about it. But I am going to listen to it right now as I walk to the dentist. Sorry for imposing my marching band of introspection on your unprepared ears. Especially since we are still early in rehearsals.

BGM: Radiohead: Kid A

Desperate Housewives?

2006-05-09T14:02:00.000+09:00

Desperate Housewives?, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

My occasional lunch companions. Today I had curry rice with gum syrup.

Osaka at 5 a.m.

2006-05-05T11:14:00.000+09:00

DCF_0002.jpg, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

DCF_0006.jpg, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

Sometimes I need to get out and go for a walk, alone, to clear my head. Last Saturday morning was one of those times. Unusual for me to be out and about at such an hour, so I took the opportunity to take some photos with my mobile phone camera. Somehow the blurriness seems appropriate.

I felt blurry and so did Osaka. I went to a dance club because a friend invited me. The truth is, I don't actually like dance clubs. At all. And I don't dance much, either. If at all. But I like staying up late and meeting interesting people. Not that many options. I enjoyed socializing and the music was good, so I am glad I went. But after 6 hours or so of it, I had had all I could take of crowded venues full of strangers who all seemed to know each other, so I took a morning stroll to the train station. Of course I got a little lost. But I eventually made it home. The older I get, the more I realize that there is a lot that I just don't get about people, including myself. But that, I suppose, makes things more interesting. Right?

Quote of the Week

2006-04-22T00:19:00.000+09:00

From a student in one of the classes mentioned in the previous black-dot infected post:

"I used to have a pet turtle, but it ran away."

The Frankenstein Game

2006-04-22T00:00:00.000+09:00

The Frankenstein Game, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

I am teaching four different college classes at the moment, at two different schools. Most of the students speak very little English and were pretty nervous on the first day. So I used this activity to see how bad their English really was and also to help them to relax and have a little fun. Each of the 40 or so students had to take a turn drawing a single body part. As you can see, none of them are art majors. It is a bit frightening, though, that about half of them are hoping to become physical therapists....

Taiwan Rodeo Training

2006-04-21T23:31:00.000+09:00

Taiwan Rodeo Training, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

Well, everyone's gotta start somewhere....

Survivor

2006-04-21T23:28:00.000+09:00

Survivor, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

This puppy was rescued from the clutches of death after being thrown into a river with the rest of the unwanted litter. His siblings all perished, but he is healthy and looking for a home. In Taiwan.

Taiwanese Roadside Goat

2006-04-21T23:16:00.000+09:00

This guy was lounging on the street next to the stir fry vendor at around midnight. There are lots of random dogs in Taiwan, but I don't see many random goats. I am hoping he is somebody's pet and not a menu item. I am also hoping the flat, chewy substance I so thoroughly enjoyed was not any kin of his.
Taiwanese Roadside Goat, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

Taiwanese Roadside Dining

2006-04-21T23:12:00.000+09:00

I passed, as usual, on the chicken blood rice, but most of the other stuff got thrown into the mix and deep-fried. My favorite is a flat, chewy substance. There are two varieties. I have no idea what it is. But I like it. We all ate the "stir fry" while playing Texas Hold 'Em. I lost $500 that night. Fortunately the New Taiwan Dollar is only worth about 3 or 4 cents, so it was not exactly tragic. I still can't get over how much warmer it was in Taiwan than Japan. Wild, wacky stuff.
Taiwanese Roadside Dining, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

Thank you Easter Bunny!

2006-04-21T22:47:00.000+09:00

Thank you Easter Bunny!, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

Even with a bun freshly out of the oven, Bryce the Bunny Baker still made time to put these in the international mail. Can't remember the last time I partook. Thank you, sir!

My Little Secret

2006-04-12T14:43:00.000+09:00

Fat Tony
People Iced:	Twenty
Car Bombs Planted:	Two
Favorite Weapon	Rusty Chain
Arms Broken:	Six
Eyes Gouged:	One
Tongues Cut Off:	Fourteen
Biggest Enemy:	Disgruntled Donny
Get Your HITMAN Name

My Backyard

2006-04-07T16:20:00.000+09:00

My Backyard, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

Well, not quite. But close enough that I am a little embarrassed that I haven't seen it until today. That is a little waterfall in the background. They tell me wild boars abound here, but I have never come across any. Perhaps one of these days my chance will come. At least today I found out where I can eat them, whether I ever see any or not. Less than sure that I want to partake, but it's always good to know one's options....

Nagoya Dome

2006-04-05T19:48:00.000+09:00

Nagoya Dome, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

The opening act is over and we are waiting for the Stones to come out and play. There is rap music in the meantime and the Japanese woman sitting next to me, probably 60 or so, is bobbing her head to the beat with gusto. Hmmm....

Japanese Roadside Dining

2006-04-05T14:52:00.000+09:00

Japanese Roadside Dining, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

On our way to a Rolling Stones concert, we stopped here. Just a freeway refueling center. Japanese roadside dining never looked so good! This is a view of Japan's largest lake, Biwako, from the small city of Ootsu (pronounced 'OH-tsu'). I have only been back from Taiwan for two days and am already discovering new things in Japan. This pleases me. At some point I should probably catch up on sleep, though.

Vogue Random

2006-03-31T19:51:00.000+09:00

The Crystal Ballroom?, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

I like to post pictures of me with girls once in a while in order to feed

the rumor mill and perhaps fool people into thinking that I might have a

love life. Actually I paid this girl to let me take her picture with me and

I don't even know her name. No, that is a blatant lie. Except that I told

you right after so that means it wasn't a lie but just a joke. Right? Except

that it wasn't funny. Hmm....

The Crystal Ballroom(?)

2006-03-31T19:50:00.000+09:00

The Crystal Ballroom?, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

Me being the 'life of the party' last December. I looked into the

flesh-colored crystal ball and saw train rides and afternoon slumber in my

future. You can see a T-back in my past if you look closely.

Test Taking Strategies, Part 1

2006-03-31T19:14:00.000+09:00

You Are a Margarita

You aren't just the life of the party, you are the party!

You mix a good drink, bust out some great music, and know how to get down.

What Mixed Drink Are You?

Hmm... all well and good except that I can't remember the last time I drank myself. If I were Rum and Coke that would be a different story altogether. I blame my grandpa for giving me sips while we played poker when I was in elementary school. Or rather I should thank him, rest his soul. Anyway back to the cocktail in question. Maybe tonight I will give it a whirl. Margaritas in Taipei... yeah, I like the sound of that. Hopefully there will not be a repeat of a certain dance-floor clearing feat that was performed by a friend of mine last time I went out in Taipei. You know who you are. I dare you to claim it. PS Congratulations on impending fatherhood. You didn't waste any time, did you? ;)

Comfort Zone

2006-03-22T14:46:00.000+09:00

Comfort Zone, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

More self-disclosure. Somebody stop me!

Little Spurt of Nationalistic Pride?

2006-03-22T12:12:00.000+09:00

Japanese, I am not. But cheer heartily, I do. And did. I kept hoping my downstairs neighbors were watching the games too, so that my outbursts would be not only tolerated but perhaps even enjoyed.

The first ever World Baseball Classic is over, and somehow Japan emerged on top. Thanks to J.K. I knew when the games were and on what channels. And thanks to a perfectly timed national holiday I was able to stay home and watch the final. It was awesome.

Between the Torino Olympics and now the WBC, I have discovered something about myself. I have some deep emotions about Japan. I love my own country, but I cheered for Japan with more fervor. A lot more. I suppose the underdog mentality has something to do with it as well. I had a similar epiphany when I went to Rome for ten days last year. Two of my happiest moments were when I saw a Japanese tour group and when I practiced speaking a little putonghua with the staff of a Chinese restaurant.

I miss my friends and family, and the ease with which everything can be done, the variety, the convenience, the bigness. But I still have no plans of leaving Asia. Then again I have no plans of staying, either. I have no plan at all. Nothing concrete anyway. I'll be sure to let you know when clarity comes. Until such time, I am happy to say that even in my most ambiguous wandering, life continues to be interesting. One thing I like about being here is that I am getting an education almost without trying. I used to bring home report cards with straight A's with a note at the bottom, "Hack does not apply himself." My thinking went that if I got an A, why should I expend energy beyond that? There were other things to do, after all.... I don't know that that was the right attitude, but it seems to have found a foothold in my personality, which is sometimes not such a good thing. But being aware of it, I have tried to put myself in situations where I either have no choice but to apply myself, or where there is so much mental sunlight and water that I grow regardless of my own laziness. Any effort on my part only provides fertilizer.

Speaking of fertilizer, a surprisingly high percentage of Japanese homes still lack flushing toilets. Until not long ago, many families had buckets designated for that purpose, which were put outside in the evening and collected for use as fertilizer. "Night Soil" it was called.

I will not attempt to analogize further on that point. Not now that all my efforts have turned to sh*t. I will say however that I have been feeling personally convicted that I should do more and try harder, in general. Of course that will be easier to do when it isn't so frickin' cold.

Excuses, excuses. Actually I am reading a book (well, I started reading it anyway) to help me with personal motivation and performance. I had this conversation with a friend a week or so ago, and now I ask you: Why is it that I feel slightly embarrassed to tell anyone that? Is this just my own personal insecurity, or do other people feel that way, too? Like you don't want to put any of your "self-help" books on the shelf where any guest might see and discover you are in fact not yet a perfect human being. Actually I am comfortable with vagueness. I just don't want to mention titles, authors, or specific subjects. That is, I don't mind saying I have problems, but I don't want to tell anyone what they are. After all, I wouldn't want anyone to know too much about me.... huh? Maybe I do, but maybe I am afraid of the vulnerability that would come with it. Yeah I guess that must be it. We don't want to let people see us too clearly until we feel assured that they won't be frightened or disgusted or disappointed. So we wear masks. No? I know I am not suggesting anything even slightly original. I am just thinking out loud in my pajamas. Sorry if I got a little pop-psycho on your hiney.

If I were a car, I would probably be an early 1990s Chevy pickup. Durable and able to carry a lot, but takes a lot of fuel. Not so easy to handle, has some dings and is not as efficient as it could be. But I want to be a 2006 Audi all-wheel drive convertible. Sleek and stylish and efficient. Can go almost anywhere. Practical enough but ready to put the top down whenever the situation calls for it, and plenty of room for others to get inside where it's warm.

Wow, that is more self-disclosure than I usually aim for in this particular medium. Oh well.

BGM: The Postal Service, "Give Up"

KENNEL FOR MEN

2006-03-12T22:37:00.000+09:00

KENNEL FOR MEN, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

Unfortunately it was closed when I discovered it....

Ineffable

2006-03-08T23:07:00.000+09:00

Ineffable, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

Refer to the title of this post for an explanation of my recent prolonged absence from blogdom.

Or just imagine the contents of three rooms moved suddenly into one room. Imagine access to the computer in that room as more trouble than it is worth. Imagine you are floating on a wave on the ocean, surrounded by starfish and sea horses. What's up with sea horses, anyway?

Over the past two weeks I am sure interesting things happened. I know at least one person said something either hilarious or exceptionally crass--probably both-- that I actually asked permission to write here. Permission granted; words lost. I had at least one dream that was intriguing enough (in my estimation, at least) and sufficiently coherent to recount. Yeah, forgot that, too. Like sands through the hourglass, so are the wasted opportunities that accumulate on my mountain of irresponsibility. Blogging failures are but a mere microcosm.

But then it's ok if you talk about it, right? That's like the first step I heard....

Ok, so before my already senile mind--ooh wait. That is bad Neuro-Linguistic Programming form. Uh, let me start over.

Ahem. (Don't read that carelessly or you might think I typed "Amen". I didn't.)

On second thought, skip the intro. Or segue. Or transition. Here's a story:

Tonight I was at the 99 yen shop. I often go there. 99 yen is a little less than a US dollar at the moment. Most of the time, in fact. I decided to stop there because I didn't want to wait 20 seconds for the train to go by. It was in my way. I was listening to loud music on my big camouflage headphones and riding my bicycle too fast in the dark with no helmet and no lights and no rear reflector, like the irresponsible (there's that word again) teenager I sometimes wish I were and occasionally reckon I forgot to be. This, coupled with the fact that I was hungry, fostered a higher than usual level of impatience on my part. La la la anyway I went to the cheap store to get some cheap and unhealthy dinner and some bread and eggs and milk. And avocados.

Not necessarily in that order. Closer to the reverse. Anyway....

Music still loud, groping avocadoes--you want 'em not too firm, not too soft--when I sense someone looking at me. I turn to see a man, slightly eccentric in appearance but nothing too out of the ordinary, about 55, and he laughs and shakes his head as if to say, "Never mind."

"I wonder if he said something and I didn't hear him because of my earmuffs that also happen to be helping me lose my hearing both at this moment and probably permanently to some degree as well?" I think to myself. "Cool." I resume groping.

"Blah blah blah blah! Ha ha ha ha ha! Blah blah."

I turn again and this time it is clear that the man is talking to, or at, me. So I smile and remove the speakers from my head.

"Abokado!! He he he. Beri chipu! He he he. 100 yen! He he."

Then I said, in Japanese, "Uh, yeah. Heh." He seemed satisfied and went merrily walking along the aisle, recounting the exciting experience to some twenty-somethings looking at spaghetti sauce. "I said 'Avocado' to that foreigner! He he." I can only assume he had just left the karaoke bar upstairs and the whiskey was helping him find amusement in the most mundane and inane. Or maybe he was insane. In any case I found my avocadoes and other items and made a fast escape.

That type of thing doesn't happen often, but when it does it reminds me that I am even weirder here than I was where I came from. Weirdness begets weirdness it seems. Those better be good avocadoes.

Last night I ordered takoyaki (octopus fried bread balls) from an outdoor stand and specifically asked the man with the pan not to sprinkle seaweed flakes on top. He did. I told him that's ok I can still eat it, no problem. He apologized and gave me two oranges for my trouble. It was nice of him. They were expensive oranges. (It was an octopus ball and orange stand. Wicked combination.) They looked delicious. They weren't. Very dry. Did he know that when he gave them to me? I think not, but... fruits with peels... very tricky. You never know what you're gonna get. The octopus balls were good, though. Except for the seaweed, of course.

My knee really hurts and I don't know why. How irritating. It is like it is bruised but as far as I know I never did anything to bruise it. Maybe I had another kung-fu dream and just don't remember.

On Sunday I met with a friend and we were walking around Kobe looking for a used bookstore. I had a map but it wasn't great. WIth some effort, and help from strangers, we finally managed to find it. It took us about an hour.

The store was closed.

But that is not the punchline. The punchline is that when I again referred to the book with the map that I had with me all along and had looked at numerous times, I found written very clearly, "Closed on weekends."

Another example of absentmindedness affording adventure. And annoyance.

"Hack Rambler you are rambling! More frequency, less verbosity!" I (don't) hear an inaudible voice saying to me....

Oh yeah and if you made it this far that is a picture of me at a Buddhist temple wearing a Buddhist priest's robes and holding his prayer beads. They are carvings of human skulls.

Washing Woes

2006-02-23T15:33:00.000+09:00

Washing Woes, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

I changed from powder detergent to the less economical liquid variety today. I've had enough of soap particles stuck to my shirts. But now I have a new problem: all my clothes smell like candy.

Congratulations!

2006-02-19T13:59:00.000+09:00

Congratulations!, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

Itsu made mo o shiawase ni!

Little Mr. Poopy

2006-02-13T14:52:00.000+09:00

Little Mr. Poopy, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

That's a rough translation of what is written on this Valentine's chocolate I was given yesterday. Bon appetit!

BGM: The Breeders: Last Splash

The Cheese Stands Alone

2006-02-03T00:04:00.000+09:00

I made chimichangas the other night. They were yummy. But somehow one shred of renegade cheese, which I meant to melt and devour, managed to escape. I found it on the steps outside my apartment. How did it get there? It is not beyond explanation but it is certainly weird.

Haven't posted for ages. So busy. Last night I accidentally fell asleep on my very uncomfortable sofa while trying to reply to emails. I woke up at 3 a.m. but didn't have the energy or will power to drag myself to bed. Woke up again at about 6 and managed the feat, telling myself if I hurried I could still have 3 hours of sleep in comfort.

I have rediscovered coffee. And I made my best pot ever on the same day I made chimichangas.

Sometimes people give me beer. I don't know why, exactly. Maybe they think I drink a lot of beer. Maybe they are right. But not home alone. Not usually, anyway. So the cans accumulate until I feel somehow inspired to open one. The other night the muses of brew paid a visit and I decided to take advantage of the fact that it is perfectly legal in Japan to walk down the street drinking a beer.

As it turns out, unlike many food/drink items, the expiration date on beer cans actually means something. Yuck. What a waste.

I bought a new watch. It is a Citizen. Looks sharp. Cost about $120. It is already screwed up. I am not pleased.

But I broke my G-Shock fighting with the cops so I needed a replacement. Haha just kidding.

My G-shock still works. I just can't wear it.

The Seahawks are in the Super Bowl. I will watch it alone at 8 in the morning. Happily I have that particular Monday off. Why does everyone think the Steelers will win? Punks.

One of my students who is studying to become a physical therapist proudly wore a T-shirt the other day that read: "Different Strokes for Different Forks". An accident looking for a purpose.

I cleaned the filter in my air conditioner for the first time in the over 2 years I have lived in this apartment. Oh what a difference it made. People should clean their air conditioner filters more often, that's what I say.

I was in a bar a couple weeks ago and an acquaintance of a friend to whom I had just been introduced introduced me to an acquaintance of hers, a young woman from somewhere in Africa. I was nice but not exceptionally so, but she somehow became interested in me, saying that she could tell I was a "real man". I tried to convince her otherwise, as I know it is not true, but she wouldn't have it. I had already thoughtlessly surrendered my phone number before she got going and the onslaught began. I dare not repeat some of the things she said here. It was pretty surreal, let's just say. Direct. At one point she attempted physical reinforcement of her words of animal desire, but I denied her, saying "not on the first date", laughing and trying to change the subject. She had written my number on the palm of her hand, so I thought it might fade and that would be the end of it. But then she, too, realized this and nonchalantly pulled her shirt down and wrote it on her bra. Still, perhaps the washing machine would render the digits illegible and thus undialable, I thought. My nubian counterpart, however, while insisting that she would in fact call very soon, dashed my hopes of detergent deletion when she told me, and subsequently demonstrated, that she had already committed my number to memory. So all I could do was say, "Until then." I smiled (and probably unwittingly bowed) and walked away, saying my friends were waiting. As far as I know, she hasn't called yet. Maybe she found someone who impressed her as being even more of a man than I. Couldn't be that difficult. But I can't help but wonder if my number is still written on her bra....

Friends Making Friends. Literally.

2006-01-24T16:48:00.000+09:00

Friends Making Friends. Literally., originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

A true boy band.

The Claw is My Master

2006-01-17T22:21:00.000+09:00

The Claw is My Master, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

This morning I got up at 4:30 so that I could go to a memorial service to remember the victims of the great earthquake that struck 11 years ago. I went because I was asked to sing a song. It was a Buddhist service, and it closed with me singing "Amazing Grace". That was their choice, not mine. Go figure.

Happy Birthday Two Yous

2006-01-08T17:51:00.000+09:00

Guess how old these two girls just became? Hint: They are not breaking any laws in this picture (which was taken in a bar). They actually came along to see the monkeys and the waterfall, too, though there was no age requirement for that. Anyway, thanks to these girls, I no longer think I have a babyface. Happy birthdays!

Toy of the Week

2006-01-08T14:19:00.000+09:00

Toy of the Week, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

This is a great toy because people like Jhoda say it sounds "gay" and then end up gaily bopping, pulling, twisting, flicking and spinning themselves.

Home Sweet Home

2006-01-08T13:26:00.000+09:00

Last night I got back to my own bed in Japan, after two weeks of travelling. I took Sominex on the plane and for the first time I can remember I had a good flight and actually slept. No jet lag. It is a beautiful thing. Today I had planned to do a lot of cleaning, but alas my neck is painfully opposed to that idea. If it is from sleeping on the plane, it is a price I am willing to pay. Anyway, today's news: I found 10,000 yen in the pocket of some jeans I haven't worn for months. That's about $91 U.S. Travelling ended up costing a bit more than I expected, so it is a well-timed discovery. Also today my Australian friend Mark leaves Japan. I don't have a lot of foreign friends, or friends who can speak English. And the ones I do have keep leaving.... Oh well. Comes with the territory I reckon. Happy travels, mate, and good luck with your software.

As for pictures, well, I do hope to post some, but as it turns out I hardly took any in the U.S. I took a few in Hiroshima, though....

Who thinks it is immature for a 29-year-old to like video games?

More later....

Impolite Primates

2005-12-27T10:47:00.000+09:00

Recently I joined some friends for a mini-hike to see this:

But on the way, we encountered this:

Guess which one I was more excited about. Oh, and those flowers are not meant to be an offering to the monkeys, nor to be eaten. How rude.

Travelin', man

2005-12-27T10:21:00.000+09:00

Please forgive my lack of posts of late. Been busy. Went to a wedding reception in Hiroshima. Slept in a capsule hotel for the first time. Saw monkeys doing crazy things and being chased away with a squirt gun. Spent too much time on the bullet train. Too much money, too. Continued to push the limits of how messy one apartment can be. And now, when I should be packing for America, I am sitting here at my computer writing this.... Yeah, I gotta go. But stay tuned for a plethora of pictures after the new year!

Peeping Polar Bears

2005-12-13T00:18:00.000+09:00

Peeping Polar Bears, originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.

What is this bear looking at?

Meri Kurisumasu Eburiwan!

2005-12-08T12:59:00.000+09:00

Just What the Doctor Ordered(?)

2005-11-23T13:14:00.000+09:00

Just What the Doctor Ordered(?), originally uploaded by Hack Rambler.